Zetato

Hey nonny no!

Sun, 26 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000

Nobody knows for certain when the first nonsense poem was written, but this (for which many versions exist) may be it. First seen in the Elizabethan era, and often named "Hey Nonny Nonny", it's referenced in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing.

HEY nonny no!
Men are fools that wish to die!
Is ‘t not fine to dance and sing
When the bells of death do ring?
Is ‘t not fine to swim in wine,
And turn upon the toe,
And sing hey nonny no!
When the winds blow and the seas flow?
Hey nonny no!

The Cow

Sun, 19 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000

The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other, milk.

The Ostrich

Sun, 05 Jan 2025 00:00:00 +0000

The ostrich roams the great Sahara.
Its mouth is wide, its neck is narra.
It has such long and lofty legs,
I'm glad it sits to lay its eggs.

The Hippopotamus

Sun, 08 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I shoot the Hippopotamus
With bullets made of platinum,
Because if I use leaden ones
His hide is sure to flatten 'em.

Further Reflections on Parsley

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 00:00:00 +0000

Parsley
Is gharsley.

Kamala

Sat, 14 Sep 2024 01:00:00 +0100

There once was a Harris so fine,
Kamala, career fighting crime,
She spoke with great flair,
Of justice in air,
And her opponents all shriveled in time.

Update, 2024-11-07 ... :(

Cabbage

Sat, 07 Sep 2024 01:00:00 +0100

I found this in an end-of-school yearbook from 1993. The author chose to remain anonymous. I'm not sure if it's nonsense, or just weirdly cabbage-obsessed.

Cabbage, oh cabbage, so crinkly and grey
You grow in the garden, in a most curious way
Your leaves are like hats, all pointy and fine
And your stem is a pipe, that's just divine

You're a snack for the rabbits, who hop with glee
When they munch on your florets, as happy as can be
But beware of the squirrels, who chatter with flair
They'll steal your sweet secrets, and stash them in their hair

In the depths of the fridge, you sit so serene
A chilled-out king of the crisper, a true cabbage queen
You're the perfect accompaniment, to a hearty old stew
Or as a crown for the dinner plate, all crunchy and new

Cabbage, oh cabbage, so curvy and bright
You're a vegetable vision, that's just out of sight
In the land of the lunchbox, you're a treasured find
A tasty little bundle, of crunch and of kind

Oh, cabbage, oh cabbage, how I adore your charms
You're a whimsical wonder, that always disarms
My seriousness, my worries, my doubts and my fears
For in your crinkly, curly, cabbagey presence, I shed tears!

Country-Style Weather

Sat, 31 Aug 2024 01:00:00 +0100

I was playing with ChatGPT, and asked it to write a nonsense poem about the weather, in a Country music style. Here's what it came up with.

Well, shucks, the sun's gone missin' again
Left me feelin' like my heart's been pinched and spun
Rain clouds gatherin', thunder rolls around
Makin' me wanna holler, "Oh, Lord, I'm gettin' drowned!"

Fog's rollin' in, misty veil on the ground
I can't see nothin' but a bunch of foggy sound
Wind's howlin' like a coyote at my door
Tellin' me to grab my guitar and ride some more

Sleetin' snowflakes swirlin', dancin' in the air
Freeze my boots off, I ain't got nothin' there
Lightnin' flashin' bright, thunder boom-boomin'
I'm just tryin' to get on down the country road, hummin'

Mornin' fog's liftin', sun starts shinin' bright
Crisp as a freshly ironed shirt, feelin' just right
Breeze blowin' gentle, leaves rustlin' in trees
Oh, Lord have mercy, it's a fine-lookin' breeze!

What do you think, does this herald the end, or are poets safe from AI for the moment?

Nuclear

Sat, 27 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0000

This wasn't intentional poetry, nor intentional nonsense, yet it is wildly successful at being both.

Look, having nuclear
my uncle was a great professor
and
scientist and engineer,
Dr. John Trump at MIT;

good genes,
very good genes,
OK, very smart,
the Wharton School of Finance,
very good,
very smart

you know, if you’re a conservative Republican,
if I were a liberal,
if,
like,
OK,
if I ran as a liberal Democrat,
they would say
I’m one of the
smartest
people anywhere in the world
it’s true!

but when you’re a conservative Republican they try
oh, do they do a number

that’s why I always start off:
Went to Wharton,
was a good student,
went there,
went there,
did this,
built a fortune

you know I have to give my like credentials all the time,
because we’re a little disadvantaged
but you look at the nuclear deal,
the thing that really bothers me

it would have been so easy,
and it’s not as important as these lives are
(nuclear is powerful;
my uncle explained that
to me many, many years ago,
the power and that was 35 years ago;
he would explain the power
of what’s going to happen
and he was right
who would have thought?),
but

when you look at what’s going on
with the four prisoners
now it used to be three,
now it’s four
but when it was three
and even now,
I would have said
it’s all in the messenger;
fellas,
and it is fellas because,
you know,
they don’t,
they haven’t figured
that the women are smarter
right now
than the men,
so,
you know,
it’s gonna take them
about another 150 years

but the Persians are great negotiators,
the Iranians are great negotiators,
so,
and they,
they just killed,
they just killed us.

Purple Cow

Sat, 20 Jan 2024 00:00:00 +0000

I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I'd rather see than be one.